I pray that those who read this would see a glimpse of the amazing love of Jesus Christ and nothing else. Yes, it is from the story of Jason Keegstra's life but this story would never have come to be without Jesus Christ at the centre.
I've lived a very blessed life. I praise The Lord now because I am able to recognize his goodness that he has offered to me. I understand now that I am worthy of his gift of eternal life through Jesus death and resurrection and I can live in freedom because he has revealed that to me. What you don't yet know is that for years I lived a privileged life but it was often void of any thankfulness because I was robbing myself from living with Jesus. I was living a life of habitual sin that took me further and further away from God and deeper and deeper into death. Life was only ever about me, even though I lived out a life of service, it was done out of guilt and shame in hopes of saving myself from God's judgement against the way I was living. I wanted to believe that i could save myself and control my eternal destiny. I was consumed by selfishness and pride and even though part of me wanted out of that darkness a, seemingly, larger part of me loved the darkness too much. What was I stuck in?
This is the hard part. I used to share this story with vagueness, but God has been transforming my heart, transforming me, into something completely new and he has given me the freedom to share this part of my story openly so that Christ might be proclaimed loudly. Life is about eternity and my prayer is that God will use my story to draw his people just a little closer to eternity with him.
I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation for many years. Almost half of my life in fact. That's crazy to think about as I write this. Almost half of my life was spent dying instead of living. Half my life was about me and my flesh. It was a tough journey but I'm so happy to tell you that God has scene me through the death and brought me into life abundant.
This story starts early on in life. I was first exposed to pornography around the age of 11 through one of my closest friends growing up in Dawson Creek BC. He had gained access to the material through his father who did not know he had taken it. It was our little secret. At that age it's effects were fairly limited because I had not yet passed through puberty but never the less the seed had been planted. It took a few years for the devil to get any kind of grip on me through pornography, but as time went on and my hormones raged and my curiosity grew it developed a stronger and stronger grip on my mind, body and spirit. Porn gave me an intense high that I couldn't get anywhere else because of the secretive nature that I was viewing it in. I was a rebellious kid who found something that, seemingly, wasn't bothering anyone else. I knew it was wrong through the presence of the Holy Spirit but it was too exciting and satisfying to leave behind. I was too caught up in making sure I was happy and satisfied even if it was only for a few minutes.
By the time I hit high school I was stuck. I had refused to Lord's guiding Spirit too many times and, out of love, he had left me to journey towards rock bottom while still looking over me so to be sure I didn't get into anything greater then I could handle. At this point my life was all about me. My identity as a basketball star, finding sanity while riding my mountain bikes, porn and masturbation. These were the things that controlled my thoughts. Oh, and I still knew in my heart that I needed to run to Jesus to experience real life, but I was too selfish and stubborn. I lived with these idols all the way through university and right up until The Lord smashed my dreams of Professional Basketball with the reality that I definitely loved the game porn/masturbation and myself more then I loved life (Jesus).
I my last semester of my fifth year at TWU my life changed forever because of the truth that Jesus revealed to me. Basketball was no longer what needed to identify me. Porn and masturbation no longer needed to identify me because they had failed me miserably. The Lord graciously made me aware of my filth and slowly began to reveal to me what true life was like. In the last month of that semester I was asked to lead spiritual development for Spartan Athletics at Trinity Western University. I fled the call initially but eventually agreed trusting that The Lord would use my brokenness for his glorification. Porn and masturbation continued to be a battle for me through my fist two years of leadership at TWU and it often made me feel extremely inadequate to lead people spiritually, but God continued to transform me and use my story. I slowly began to share my struggle with Porn and masturbation with more and more young men and The Lord began to break the isolation of the battle within others lives. Men began dialoging and learning together in small groups with scripture as the foundation for victory. The power of Satan began to be diminished as the sin was exposed for the filth and death that it is and men made commitments to pursue purity. We were pursuing purity not for our sake but for the sake of the Kingdom work of God and all of the lives that might be brought into eternity as a result of Christ working through our stories. It was about lives of guilt and shame being transformed into lives of honesty and joy as only Christ can offer.
God has truly done amazing things through my story, as written by him and I give him all the glory. My prayer is that I would have a desire on a daily basis to pursue him above all else so that my flesh may no longer take me towards death. Christ has promised life abundant and I pray that I would want that more than all the temporal pleasures earth can offer.
Currently, I have been freed from the habitual sin that I lived in for so long. It has only been just over a month and I continue to battle against the temptations of the devil and his army, but I am free from the power of porn and masturbation and I understand that my freedom from it is guaranteed as long as I continue to pursue Christ above my own fleshly desires. "Where the Spirit of The Lord is there is freedom."
If you or someone you know is battling through sexual addiction please know that there is hope for freedom. The fact that I am writing about my struggle is proof of that. We were not created to live apart from God so pray that he might give you a desire to know him more and more every day. I share my story so that the grip of sin might be loosened a little bit more. Please contact me if you need help fighting this battle. We were never meant to battle sin on our own and the sooner you expose your sexual addictions the sooner it's power over you can be loosened.
Remember, those who believe have been granted heaven, even heaven on earth, through obedience to Christ's call but the key is obedience. We are called to love God and love others but we cannot do either of those without first dying to our own selfishness. Jump into freedom with Christ right now. Commit to pursuing Christ above your sexual addiction. It might take longer then you hope but God hears you and is prepared to give you victory.
For His Kingdom.
I've lived a very blessed life. I praise The Lord now because I am able to recognize his goodness that he has offered to me. I understand now that I am worthy of his gift of eternal life through Jesus death and resurrection and I can live in freedom because he has revealed that to me. What you don't yet know is that for years I lived a privileged life but it was often void of any thankfulness because I was robbing myself from living with Jesus. I was living a life of habitual sin that took me further and further away from God and deeper and deeper into death. Life was only ever about me, even though I lived out a life of service, it was done out of guilt and shame in hopes of saving myself from God's judgement against the way I was living. I wanted to believe that i could save myself and control my eternal destiny. I was consumed by selfishness and pride and even though part of me wanted out of that darkness a, seemingly, larger part of me loved the darkness too much. What was I stuck in?
This is the hard part. I used to share this story with vagueness, but God has been transforming my heart, transforming me, into something completely new and he has given me the freedom to share this part of my story openly so that Christ might be proclaimed loudly. Life is about eternity and my prayer is that God will use my story to draw his people just a little closer to eternity with him.
I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation for many years. Almost half of my life in fact. That's crazy to think about as I write this. Almost half of my life was spent dying instead of living. Half my life was about me and my flesh. It was a tough journey but I'm so happy to tell you that God has scene me through the death and brought me into life abundant.
This story starts early on in life. I was first exposed to pornography around the age of 11 through one of my closest friends growing up in Dawson Creek BC. He had gained access to the material through his father who did not know he had taken it. It was our little secret. At that age it's effects were fairly limited because I had not yet passed through puberty but never the less the seed had been planted. It took a few years for the devil to get any kind of grip on me through pornography, but as time went on and my hormones raged and my curiosity grew it developed a stronger and stronger grip on my mind, body and spirit. Porn gave me an intense high that I couldn't get anywhere else because of the secretive nature that I was viewing it in. I was a rebellious kid who found something that, seemingly, wasn't bothering anyone else. I knew it was wrong through the presence of the Holy Spirit but it was too exciting and satisfying to leave behind. I was too caught up in making sure I was happy and satisfied even if it was only for a few minutes.
By the time I hit high school I was stuck. I had refused to Lord's guiding Spirit too many times and, out of love, he had left me to journey towards rock bottom while still looking over me so to be sure I didn't get into anything greater then I could handle. At this point my life was all about me. My identity as a basketball star, finding sanity while riding my mountain bikes, porn and masturbation. These were the things that controlled my thoughts. Oh, and I still knew in my heart that I needed to run to Jesus to experience real life, but I was too selfish and stubborn. I lived with these idols all the way through university and right up until The Lord smashed my dreams of Professional Basketball with the reality that I definitely loved the game porn/masturbation and myself more then I loved life (Jesus).
I my last semester of my fifth year at TWU my life changed forever because of the truth that Jesus revealed to me. Basketball was no longer what needed to identify me. Porn and masturbation no longer needed to identify me because they had failed me miserably. The Lord graciously made me aware of my filth and slowly began to reveal to me what true life was like. In the last month of that semester I was asked to lead spiritual development for Spartan Athletics at Trinity Western University. I fled the call initially but eventually agreed trusting that The Lord would use my brokenness for his glorification. Porn and masturbation continued to be a battle for me through my fist two years of leadership at TWU and it often made me feel extremely inadequate to lead people spiritually, but God continued to transform me and use my story. I slowly began to share my struggle with Porn and masturbation with more and more young men and The Lord began to break the isolation of the battle within others lives. Men began dialoging and learning together in small groups with scripture as the foundation for victory. The power of Satan began to be diminished as the sin was exposed for the filth and death that it is and men made commitments to pursue purity. We were pursuing purity not for our sake but for the sake of the Kingdom work of God and all of the lives that might be brought into eternity as a result of Christ working through our stories. It was about lives of guilt and shame being transformed into lives of honesty and joy as only Christ can offer.
God has truly done amazing things through my story, as written by him and I give him all the glory. My prayer is that I would have a desire on a daily basis to pursue him above all else so that my flesh may no longer take me towards death. Christ has promised life abundant and I pray that I would want that more than all the temporal pleasures earth can offer.
Currently, I have been freed from the habitual sin that I lived in for so long. It has only been just over a month and I continue to battle against the temptations of the devil and his army, but I am free from the power of porn and masturbation and I understand that my freedom from it is guaranteed as long as I continue to pursue Christ above my own fleshly desires. "Where the Spirit of The Lord is there is freedom."
If you or someone you know is battling through sexual addiction please know that there is hope for freedom. The fact that I am writing about my struggle is proof of that. We were not created to live apart from God so pray that he might give you a desire to know him more and more every day. I share my story so that the grip of sin might be loosened a little bit more. Please contact me if you need help fighting this battle. We were never meant to battle sin on our own and the sooner you expose your sexual addictions the sooner it's power over you can be loosened.
Remember, those who believe have been granted heaven, even heaven on earth, through obedience to Christ's call but the key is obedience. We are called to love God and love others but we cannot do either of those without first dying to our own selfishness. Jump into freedom with Christ right now. Commit to pursuing Christ above your sexual addiction. It might take longer then you hope but God hears you and is prepared to give you victory.
For His Kingdom.
Beautiful, Jason! How do you feel now? Vulnerability is so hard, but God is so rewarding in it! And now that you have spoken it out, for all to hear, that little bugger (shame), as I refer to him, can no longer have power over you. I truly believe that our stories are not meant to be hidden. That God wants us to share with others so that others can hear and see God in us! I continue to speak my story to others and I truly hope that through my addiction and disorder, God will use me to help others . This is my prayer. When I was at Young Life camp this summer, they had a session for girls on eating disorder and a session for boys on sexual addictions. We need to be talking about these issues more so that God can work in so many other people's lives. And you are so right, we are not meant to go through this alone. You are a very brave man and I thank you for your honesty! God bless you!
ReplyDelete